Last week saw the end of my one thousand days. A thousand days ago I set myself a goal. I had grown more and more unsatisfied with where I was spiritually and gave myself this period to set things straight. To set a new course. Somehow.
Many of the important things, however, are still playing themselves out. Events, decisions to be made, have not run their course, in spite of my self-imposed date. I’ve developed some good habits, become interested in some areas of study, but the conclusion of my course? It hasn’t arrived. ‘Why?’ is an interesting question. Is it because I can’t force it? Is it because I lack the courage to go where I should? Is it because I am being dragged down by my habitual procrastination? Perhaps its some combination of the three. I don’t know. But I know I am not there yet. This will take more than the thousand days I originally prescribed and that I can do nothing but continue. Its disappointing, but its not really in my hands.